Showdown Between the Chosen Ones
by Moony vs. Padfoot
Summary: Our four beloved Chosen Ones, Anakin Skywalker, Frodo Baggins, Harry Potter, and Ash Ketchum are entered into a Chosen One CONTEST! What horrors and twists shall occur during this odd competition? Read to find out!
1. Verbal Competition

Showdown Between The Chosen Ones

By Moony

I DO NOT own anything related to Star Wars, Pokemon, Harry Potter, or Lord of the Rings. They are the sole right of their owners, not mine. I'm not trying to make any money off of this either.

Well, I can't resist writing this. The idea seems so fun, as a lot of stories just love including 'chosen ones' inside them, so, yeah.

Please don't flame me, because THIS IS MEANT TO BE A STUPID FIC. Yeah. So any flames that tell me it is pointless is stupid I shall laugh, because it is just meant for that.

Chapter 1

Anakin Skywalker was nervous. Curse that Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan could be evil sometimes, but he always had a reason for doing stuff – but this was completely off. What did this idiotic competition have to do with the Force or Jedi? He doubted lightsabre skills would be truly needed – these people were clueless about the Force or Jedi.

After thinking about the stupidity of this, Anakin came to the conclusion that Obi-Wan was on drugs. Yes, that would be it. Now, of the contest. He was nervous. Though he really didn't know why. Probably because these people were also Chosen Ones. And Chosen Ones were supposed to have super powers to bring the Earth into balance… therefore, they must have super powers.

But they had never seen a light-sabre… and knew nothing of the Force. Anakin smiled as he was called out. This would actually be pretty simple.

oooooo

Harry Potter was bored. Dumbledore was really weird sometimes, but what the hell was a _Chosen One Competition_? What point did that serve? Even simple spells would gain him the win. Besides, wasn't a Chosen One supposed to be **ONE** person? Hence the name, Chosen **ONE**? Why were there **FOUR** Chosen **ONES**? It made no sense whatsoever. Unless four people had decided to choose one chosen person without letting each other know…

Bah. This was stupid. How could this be any harder than the Triwizard Tournament anyway? He headed out when they called his name.

oooooo

Frodo Baggins was fingering his Light of Galadriel. Perhaps it would be helpful in this showdown. He also stared at the shiny blade of the Sting. It would also be helpful. These people weren't even trained in swordsmanship. And the Light of Galadriel would totally make them back off anyway! It had made that giant spider thing back off. But why did Gandalf enter him in this stupid thing? Wasn't destroying the One Ring enough? Why did he have to come to some Chosen One competition? It was the stupidest thing ever. Too much weed smoking, he supposed.

He practiced his moves once more. Just because he was a tiny little hobbit, didn't mean that he would lose. After all, great things came in small packages. He headed out.

oooooo

Ash Ketchum sat down, with his trusty Pikachu beside him. Pokemon were way powerful than swords or anything like that. The other people didn't even own Pokemon, much less knew how to make them faint or such. His Pokemon had always beat Team Rocket anyway, and that surely meant that he was becoming a great Pokemon Master, right?

He quickly put away his Pokeballs and beckoned Pikachu to follow him outside.

oooooo

"And now we are all gathered for the FIRST EVER ANNUAL CHOSEN ONE COMPETITION!" the announcer shouted.

The crowd cheered.

"Let us introduce the Chosen One contestants!"

"First, we have… FRODO BAGGINS!"

Frodo emerged from a door beside the stadium. The crowd cheered again. Frodo held his Light of Galadriel and his Sting.

"Mr. Baggins was the destroyer of the One Ring, the Chosen One, to destroy this ring. He defeated Sauron, the evil eye thing."

The crowd cheered.

"Next, we have… HARRY POTTER!"

The crowd cheered louder as Harry came out with his wand.

"Mr. Potter is the Chosen One to destroy Lord Voldemort, which he has yet to do."

The crowd cheered once more.

"Third, let us introduce… ANAKIN SKYWALKER!"

The crowd rumbled with applause as the handsome Anakin stepped out into the light wielding his blue lightsabre.

"Mr. Skywalker is the Chosen One who will bring balance to the light and dark side of the Force. Which he has yet to do."

The crowd screamed.

"And now we have…" The announcer gave an exasperated sigh. "Ash Ketchum, who saved the Earth with Lugia."

The crowd booed as Ash came out with a shiny red and white Pokeball in his hand.

"So now we shall begin… the VERAL COMPETITION! In which the contestants shall argue and you shall vote on the best Chosen One!"

The four Chosen Ones were quite taken aback. Verbal hadn't been in the itinerary! They were just suppoed to fight! They shrugged. How hard could it be?

"BEGIN ARGUING!"

"I am super awesome. I can do a Patronus – at age THIRTEEN! And a buncha other awesome jinxes and hexes! I can hex ya'll into JELLY! MUAHAHA!" Harry Potter shouted.

"Yeah – well you all haven't obviously been captured by a big hairy spider and then poisoned and then climbed a high tower to a volcano, with an evil eye staring at you and making you go mad – plus the One Ring hanging like a heavy burden around your neck! I WANT THE RING!"

Frodo yelled.

"Well, I am obviously the best. I am super awesome at my lightsabre techniques, I can choke people with the Force, I can fix any robot at lightning speed, I can pod race, AND I'm a super awesome pilot! So there! Beat that!" Anakin smirked.

Ash stared round. He hadn't done anything so impressive.

"I… I saved the world. I collected these glass balls and put them together and rode Lugia and saved them all!"

The other three Chosen Ones blinked.

"Yeah, well, you guys haven't experienced a scar that burns every time the evil Dark Lord gets angry!" Harry bragged.

"Oh yeah, like that's something compared to GETTING YOUR FINGER BITTEN OFF!" Frodo said.

"Right, I've gotten my arm chopped off! Compare that to your stupid finger!" Anakin said.

"I got shocked by Pikachu…" Ash said.

Nobody looked at him.

"Yeah, but your finger HEALS. My scar NEVER goes away!"

"Yeah, but your scar doesn't bleed all over the place!"

"Oh yeah, your _finger_ bleeds. I had to get a metal ARM!"

"But lightsabres make a CLEAN CUT, so you don't BLEED to death!"

"PIKACHU HURTS!"

An awkward silence followed.

"Obi-Wan rox your sox. Though he is unfair, at times." Anakin crushed a tree in anger.

"DUMBLEDORE PAWNS YOU ALL! He was the only one Voldemort feared!"

"GANDALF ROX! I mean, he's got the white pony and awesome magical white staff. Plus he survived after being drowned in lava!"

"Professor Oak created Pokedex…"

"Uhhh…."

"Obi-Wan has awesome lightsabre stuff! He can kill your precious Dumbledore."

"Dumbledore has super awesome MAGIC!"

"But Gandalf has the cool staff! And the pony!"

"Professor Oak gave me PIKACHU!"

Blink. Crickets chirped.

"Lightsabres can kill you all! I can chop off your head right now with them!"

"I can use a shield spell with my uber powerful WAND!"

"I can slice your other arm off with Sting!"

"Charizard can… can… burn… you… to… ash?"

Crickets chirp loudly.

"Okay folks! That's it with the verbal competition! Now the audience will vote!"

The audience voted for the best verbal Chosen One.

"We are now tallying the votes! First place is… Anakin Skywalker with the ultra cool cut off arm! Second Place goes to Frodo Baggins, with the best Chosen One quest! Third goes to Harry Potter with ultra cool Patronus. And… Ash Ketchum… who has nothing cool about him."

"Our next competition shall involve… a DUEL!"

_As our Chosen Ones get over the verbal competition quickly, what shall happen in the ultimate DUEL? Will Ash be able to use his Pokemon to defeat Harry's magic? Will Anakin's lightsabre slice Frodo's Sting in half? What shall happen to our Chosen Ones? Who is the best Chosen One to win this contest? Stay tuned to find out!_

_To be continued..._


	2. Dueling Competition

Showdown Between The Chosen Ones

By Moony

I DO NOT own anything related to Star Wars, Pokemon, Harry Potter, or Lord of the Rings. They are the sole right of their owners, not mine. I'm not trying to make any money off of this either.

Oh right, anyone wondering about my Pokemon knowledge I should let you know, that when I was about five or six years old, I was quite obsessed with Pokemon. I have pretty much seen all the episodes in those days. That's where all my scary knowledge of the show comes from. –Moony

Chapter 2

Anakin Skywalker smiled. This was the part he had been waiting for. The ultimate duel. Haha, none of their precious weapons could ever defeat the ultimate lightsabre! Or the Force for that matter. He was a _Jedi_, and they didn't even know what a Jedi or a Sith was.

Harry Potter grinned too. His hexes and jinxes would totally PAWN them all!

Frodo smirked. He had his ultra cool shirt made of mythril, which would totally deflect their lightsabres and wands and crap like that. Plus he had the Light of Galadriel. And sting. Now, what could possibly defeat that?

Ash was nervous. He wasn't good at dueling. Pokemon were cool – but these people had swords. And stuff. Oh dear. Why had he entered this contest anyway?

"Each contestant may have one minute to take care of any last necessities."

Harry polished his wand with his robes. Frodo sharpened his Sting and polished his Light of Galadriel. Ash polished his Pokeballs. Anakin activated his shiny blue lightsabre.

"Ooh… pretty…" Ash murmured.

"BEGIN THE DUEL!"

"TARANTALLEGRA!" Harry shouted.

"I CHOOSE YOU – CHARIZARD!"

Of course, just as Charizard escaped the Pokeball, Anakin came from behind with his lightsabre and sliced Charizard's head off!

"OH! OUCH! That's gotta hurt!" the announcer said loudly.

"NO! NOT CHARIZARD! I TRAINED HIM FROM A CHARMANDER! NOOOOOO! PIKACHU GO!"

"AVADA KEDAVRA!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ash yelled, and he began crying his eyes out. "Pikachu was my only friend!"

"And it looks like Harry has done an Unforigvable CURSE!"

The crowd gasped loudly as an owl came flying with a note. The battle stopped for a moment as Harry read his note.

_Dear Mr. Potter,_

_We have confirmed that you have set off an Unforgivable Curse, Avada Kedavra at 12:00 pm on Saturday. Ministry of Magic shall be arrivng shortly to snap your wand and you will be sent to Azkaban. Have a nice day!_

The Ministry of Magic apparated.

"Wow! Looks like Harry has broken a law!"

Anakin whipped around. That wasn't fair! Harry had wizard allies! They must die!

He used the Force to choke them.

"What's that? Oh look – Anakin Skywalker is _choking_them with the FORCE!"

"Yay! I don't have to be arrested! NOW DIE!"

"STUPEFY!"

Only Anakin was faster, he swung his lightsabre and chopped Harry's left arm off.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" Harry screamed.

"Yeah see – a cut off arm hurts more than your stupid SCAR!"

Frodo came jumping from behind with Sting and stabbed a nice, pretty, deep cut in Anakin's back.

"OWWWWWW!"

Anakin swung around with the Force, but Frodo had the Light of Galadriel.

"AH! IT BURNS! THE LIGHT!"

Anakin was so furious, that he burst into Darth Vader.

"Wow folks! Look at that! Anakin has become… hey! Listen to the music!"

The Imperial March music could be heard from far away.

Anakin crushed Frodo's neck. Sam came rushing in. "Mr. Frodo! Are you okay?"

Frodo jumps up, his neck fine.

"Go away Sam! YOU STOLE THE RING!"

"SQUIRTLE I CHOOSE YOU!"

"INCIENDO!"

Squirtle burned to death.

Ash couldn't believe it. His Pokemon were losing! His trusted Pokemon! Who had beat Team Rocket so many time! NOOOOOOOOO! It wasn't possible!

Harry had to get Anakin back. He pointed his wand and thought _Levicorpous!_ As Anakin was flung upside down revealing his Senator Amidala boxers! His lightsabre fell out of his hand.

"NO!" he tried to use the Force, but Harry was faster.

"ACCIO LIGHTSABRE!"

Anakin tried to choke Harry, but Harry used a shield Spell. Frodo seized his opportunity and slashed one of Anakin's legs off!

"NO! NOW I NEED A METAL ARM AND A LEG!"

"TARANTALLEGRA!"

Frodo began to tap dance.

"BULBASAUR! I CHOOSE YOU!"

"RAZOR LEAF ATTACK!"

Ash reversed the leaves with a flick of his wand. Bulbasaur died as well. Ash then knew all hope was lost.

"LUGIA! SAVE ME!"

Anakin began crying too. "Now how will Padme ever love me?"

Frodo was ashamed of his tap dancing. And Ash was still in great pain from the amputated arm.

"All righty folks! As you can see, each Chosen One is in pain! Now we shall heal everyone and you shall vote! Who survived best?"

An automatic healing spell was spread over the stadium, as the audience began voting.

"First place, we have Frodo Baggins! As, he only tap danced pretty much. Second is Harry Potter – he got an arm chopped off. Third, Anakin Skywalker with a chopped off leg and… er… obsessive underpants. And…" the audience sighed. "Ash Ketchum. Who had five dead Pokemon."

Ash screamed. "WHY ME!"

"Our next competition shall be – a racing contest! Anakin Skywalker shall be racing with a pod racer! Harry Potter shall be racing with his Firebolt! Frodo Baggins will be racing on Gandalf's pony! And Ash…" the announcer blinked. "Ash will be racing on a skateboard, with Bayleef pulling it."

_Our Chosen Ones have all been pretty badly wounded in the process of a duel, and the Ministry of Magic died. Next, they shall be racing? Who will win?Is aFirebolt faster than a Podracer? Is Gandalf's pony way faster than them all?Stay tuned to find out!_

_To be continued…_


	3. Racing Competition

Showdown Between The Chosen Ones

By Moony

I DO NOT own anything related to Star Wars, Pokemon, Harry Potter, or Lord of the Rings. They are the sole right of their owners, not mine. I'm not trying to make any money off of this either.

Thank you reviewers! You make this even more fun to write! –Moony

Chapter 3

Racing! Now that was one thing that Anakin loved doing best, ever since he was a little nine-year-old midget on Tatooine! But he wasn't sure whether he could still fit into a Podracer, now that he was fourteen. Podracers were supposed to be able to hold small people not a grown, gangly fourteen year old. He climbed into the small, cramped Podracer. It _was_ quite small, and he had to squeeze his legs to his chest, but it wasn't _that _bad. He could still hit the controls and everything. He wished that he could use a speeder, instead of a Podracer; they were more comfortable with better speed capabilities. He was a better pilot than Podracer, but no, the judge said _Podracing._ So that's what he did.

Whee! Harry got to ride his Firebolt! That was the ultimate in competitions! What was a competition without a broomstick? Wands could only get so much excitement! He polished the handle of his perfect Firebolt and swung his leg over it, ready to kick off.

Frodo hopped onto Shadowfax, Gandalf's pretty white pony. Gandalf _had_ warned him that Shadowfax could be wild, but Frodo was sure he could handle it – after all, Shadowfax was the fastest horse in the land! How could a… 'podracer' beat that?

Ash stood on the skateboard. He had entered a ccontest like this once. And Bayleef had been pulling that time too. So he was sure to win, since he won that one. Though Gary _had_ nearly won… but he still won. So it counted for something, right?

"Okay! The contestants are now on their vehicles! When I blast the rifle, they will be off! There are many obstacles on this track, from Anakin, Frodo, Harry, and Ash's world! Each is equipped, and must make three laps on this track! OKAY FOLKS… On your marks! Ready? Get set? BANG!"

"And they're off!"

Anakin's Podracer sped ahead of everyone, though Harry was gaining. His Firebolt was quite magical, and was very fast. The best broom ever. Anakin and Harry were neck to neck, while Shadowfax galloped way ahead of Ash, but way far behind Anakin and Harry.

Twice, Anakin tried to smash Harry's broom with his pawning Podracer, but Harry's Firebolt was much more agile and faster and dodged with the slightest touch.

"DAMN YOU FRICKIN' MAGIC!" Anakin cursed.

Harry smirked and sped ahead.

"NO! YOU'RE NOT GETTING AWAY LIKE THAT!"

Just as Anakin was about to gain up on Harry, a big Blast-Ended Skrewt was up in his face.

"AH! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?"

Harry sped away.

"CURSE YOU!"

Meanwhile, Frodo was galloping away. Shadowfax was losing! NO! Gandalf's ponies NEVER lost – especially his special SHADOWFAX! This was really bad! Why did Frodo have to live in Middle Earth? Why couldn't he live in the cool technology worlds? And then of course, there was a nice pretty Chimaera in his face, wanting to eat him up.

But Ash was way behind. Bayleef was working hard, but not hard enough. How was this possible? He had won the other race, and won a super awesome egg! How could Bayleef lose now?

"GO BAYLEEF! FASTER!"

Of course, then droids appeared in front of Bayleef. Ash was at a total loss of what to do.

"Nooooooooooooo!" he cried as the droids fired away.

"Baaaaaaaay!" Bayleef squealed.

"The world is so cruel!" Ash yelled, as his skateboard was reduced to dust.

"RAZOR LEAF BAYLEEF!"

But razor sharp leaves had no effect whatsoever on the droid's metal bodies.

He was forced to ride Bayleef's back and get away, while the droids fired.

After awhile, Ash was so slow, that Anakin and Harry caught up with him on his first lap, while on their second lap.

"How slow are you?" Harry scoffed.

Before getting a chance to answer, a terrible, awful, ominous, evil, horrible, dreadful, formidable, appalling, horrific, horrifying, terrifying thing could be seen in the distance…

_**Team Rocket.**_

Ash gasped as his Bayleef was caught up in Team Rocket's evil net! Why did they have to steal _his_ Pokemon! He already had five dead ones!

"Dude, don't Pokemon have powers? Why can't your precious Pokemon use the power to get out?" Frodo said, riding up.

It was true! Ash had never thought about that! All those times Charmander and people got caught, why didn't they use their powers to break the net? They just floundered around! Ash felt very stupid.

Anakin drummed his fingers impatiently. Was this an obstacle from the Pokemon world?

A red headed girl and blue headed boy and a cat looking figure could be seen. And Ash's Pokemon was caught in a net. Crap, Harry was speeding! He was losing! NO!

"GET OUT OF MY WAY!" he yelled. He was in a bad mood. Anakin in a bad mood wasn't a good thing.

These people ignored him. Well, their problem.

"Prepare for trouble! And make that double! To protect – "

They screamed as Anakin drove right through the hot air balloon shaped like a cat.

"Team Rocket's blasting off again!"

Anakin rolled his eyes. Corny. He sped along, trying to catch up with Harry. Ash was crying.

"How did he do it so quick! And he didn't free Bayleef either! My Bayleef is gone forever! Team Rocket actually got my Pokemon! Now what will I do?" Ash began to sob hysterically. This competition was really straining his emotions.

Elsewhere… 

As Team Rocket blasted off, they realized something –

"We have the twerp's Bayleef!" Meowth cried, stunned.

"We do!" James said.

"We actually caught a Pokemon!" Jessie exclaimed.

"The Boss will be so happy!"

"We'll go on vacation!"

"We'll buy us expensive jewelry!"

"We'll never have to go on missions again!"

"Hoorah!"

"WAAAAAAAAAAA-BUFFET!"

_Back to the stadium…_

Ash was left towards his only hope… Charizard. But Charizard never listened to him! His day was going awfully wrong! He sighed and prayed for good luck.

"CHARIZARD! I CHOOSE YOU!"

The big fat dragon was soon to be found on the grounds, snoozing away.

"NOOOO! WAKE UP!" Ash cried.

Charizard wouldn't wake up. Ash was in such a bad mood, he began kicking. This served him no good but –

"Ouch! Looks like Ash has just go burned by a nice Ember move from Charizard!"

Ash fell to the ground sobbing. This sucked.

Meanwhile, Shadowfax was nearly giving way.

"No Shadowfax! Keep going! Keep going! You're almost done with the third lap!"

But a big Bulbasaur was in his way!

"What the hell?"

Vines came out from the bulb thing on the thing's back, and began to strangle Shadowfax.

"NEVER!" Frodo screamed and sliced Bulbasaur in half. Then he continued on his way.

Meanwhile, Anakin was having difficulty with an Acromantula. His lightsabre could only cut off so many big legs…

At last, Anakin gave up on the lightsabre and used the Force, then sped ahead.

Meanwhile, Harry was having trouble with droids trying to destroy his Firebolt.

"REDUCTO! REDUCTO! REDUCTO!" he yelled, smashing the droids to fine dust.

Then zoomed away.

At last, Anakin and Harry were at the last obstacle – a SPHINX!

Anakin skidded to a stop.

"What the hell is that?"

"A sphinx," Harry smirked. "You'll never get past it, Skywalker."

"Oh yeah? I betcha I can!" Anakin ignited his lightsabre. "Move thing, or I'll slash you to bits."

"No," the thing said, pacing.

"Well then, too bad!"

But the Sphinx had MAGIC! She blasted Anakin back.

"I will only let you pass, if you answer my riddle. Answer on your first guess – I let you pass. Answer wrongly – I attack. Remain silent – I will let you walk away from me unscathed."

Simple enough, Anakin thought. Harry smirked. This would be easy. He had done this before.

_"Think of words ending in -GRY. Angry and hungry are two of them. There are only three words in the English language. What is the third word? The word is something that everyone uses every day. If you have listened carefully, I have already told you what it is."_

Harry and Anakin gaped. That was the most difficult riddles they had ever heard! What would they do?

Harry decided to use his old riddle answer.

"SPIDER!"

The Sphinx attacked. Harry was crushed and felt his ribs cracking, then the Sphinx went back up.

"Try again," she said.

Anakin grinned, "I know – it's 'gry'!"

He was crushed.

"Idiot! How can it be gry?"

"Are you calling me an idiot?"

"Yes I am!"

"DIE!"

"NO!"

"DIE!"

"NO!"

"DIE!"

"NOOOOOO!"

"I'm going to poke you!"

"I'm going to poke you back!"

The Sphinx spoke. "You two must work together to solve the riddle!"

They glared.

"Fine."

"Aggry is a word ending in gry," Harry said.

"But do you know what it means?"

"No!"

"Fine. How about – cat?"

"That makes no sense!"

"Yeah it does! It ends in… uh… 'gry', yeah… and… everyone knows what it means and uses it… every… day…I think…"

The Sphinx attacked.

"Damnit!"

"I'VE GOT IT!" Harry shouted.

"What! What!" Anakin said excitedly.

"SPIDER!"

Facepalm.

Forty minutes later… 

"Padme!"

"Ginny!"

"Yoda!"

"Dumbledore!"

"Kneazle!"

"Podracer!"

"Acromantula!"

"Tatooine!"

"Surrey!"

"Naboo!"

"London!"

"Lightsabre!"

"Wand!"

"Good!"

"Horcrux!"

"Evil!"

"Love!"

"Obi-Wan!"

"Ronald Weasley!"

"That makes no sense you idiot! It's got to be… ANAKIN!"

"_That_ makes no sense! It doesn't end in gry! It has to be Har_ry_!"

"That doesn't end in gry either!"

"Yes it does you flobberworm! Har**ry**!"

The Sphinx attacked again and again and again, was getting quite tired, whereas, though the two's bones were being crushed, they were getting even more energy. This was getting real annoying.

"OKAY! IT'S LANGUAGE! NOW JUST GO!" she screamed and backed away.

The two of them stared back blankly.

"That makes no sense!"

"Yeah! It doesn't end in gry!"

"Yeah! You have to make better riddles!"

The Sphinx screamed. She had enough of these idiots.

"Okay…see you at the finish line, Skywalker!" Harry smirked and sped away.

"NO!"

Harry and Anakin were neck to neck! The finish line was so close!

_Faster! Faster!_ Harry urged.

Anakin flipped a bunch of controls. But technology was no match for magic!

With a last burst of speed, Harry zoomed past the finish line.

But it had proved too much for his poor Firebolt. It split into millions of splinters as he won.

"Noooooooooo! My beautiful Firebolt! The best broom I've ever had! NO! WHY HAVE YOU BETRAYED ME!" he shouted.

"And HARRY is first place! Sorry 'bout your broom dude. And ANAKIN is SECOND! Now we shall wait for the others."

_Three hours later…_

Shadowfax and Frodo finally came plodding in.

"Whee! I'm not last!" Frodo said happily.

Shadowfax collapsed.

"NO! Gandalf's gonna kill me! Wake up you idiot pony!"

_Five hours later…_

"Okay, it seems that Ash Ketchum is not moving! That declares that he has forfeited this contest! We will be picking him up momentarily! Meanwhile, contestants, please enjoy some refreshments!"

Ash was still sobbing hysterically next to Charizard. The world was evil.

_Harry has won the race and Anakin and Frodo are second and third. Ash is crying hysterically. Next episode, they will be participating in a fan girl attack competition! Will Anakin survive the fan girls? Will Harry? Are fan girls too much for Frodo? Will Ash even get any fan girls? Stay tuned to find out!_


	4. Fangirls Competition

Showdown Between The Chosen Ones

By Moony

I DO NOT own anything related to Star Wars, Pokemon, Harry Potter, or Lord of the Rings. They are the sole right of their owners, not mine. I'm not trying to make any money off of this either.

Whee! I think the review feature is an awesome addition to fanfiction. It makes my day to see people cracking up from my fic. I have shoutouts for you all at the end! –Moony

Chapter 4

Anakin, Frodo, and Harry were in a small tent enjoying assorted Muggle refreshment drinks, like Gatorade, Mountain Dew, and Dr. Pepper. They were quite tasty actually. Anakin especially liked the little fizzy bubbles in the Mountain Dew, and in fact, the thing was making him feel quite hyper for some odd reason. Frodo, meanwhile, was sipping Gatorade, which was much more delicious than Lembas (forgot how to spell that) bread, after eating it for practically a year. This drink tasted lemony and sweet. Harry was surprised by the goodness of Dr. Pepper. He had seen Dudley have it loads of times, but he never really got to taste soda.

"Ketchum is never going to make it," Anakin said, chugging the last of the Mountain Dew.

"For once, I agree with you," Harry said.

"He's a wimp. How did he become a Chosen One?" Frodo asked.

"Sheer luck I suppose. Or maybe he's a main character. Main characters are always Chosen Ones in hero series," Harry said.

"True. But who would write a hero series about an idiot like him?" Anakin asked.

"A moron."

The three sat in silence, until Ash was finally brought back. He was covered in dust and dirt, and he looked very depressed and dejected. His baseball cap was nearly falling off, revealing even messier hair than Harry's. Tear streaks were left down his face. It was a pathetic sight, and the three of them twitched involuntarily at him.

"Okay contestants, out into the stadium for the next competition!" the announcer's voice cried.

The four trapsed out into the stadium.

"Well folks, here we are with our four Chosen Ones! Our FOURTH competition involves FANGIRLS!"

The four of them were completely bewildered. What the hell were fangirls?

"Judging will be based on how well contestants can fend off the fangirls without physically hurting them," the announcer said. "Okay! If you are a fangirl of either of these four Chosen Ones, you may run and take a chunk of your beloved idol! If you can…"

There was a maddening rush and stampede as girls all over the stadium screamed and pushed and shoved to get to the four Chosen Ones. Suddenly, fifty or so girls were toppling Anakin over, screaming and touching him and asking to kiss him.

"ANAKIN! LET ME KISS YOU!"

"LET ME HAVE A LOCK OF YOUR HAIR!"

"SHOW ME YOUR AWESOME LIGHTSABRE!"

"TAKE ME PODRACING!"

"COME TO NABOO WITH ME!"

"NO! DON'T GO WITH THEM! GO WITH ME! I'M THE BEST GIRL HERE!"

"NUH-UH! I AM! I CAN USE A LIGHTSABRE AND THE FORCE, AND I'M NOT EVEN A JEDI! TRAIN ME TO BECOME ONE ANAKIN! PLEASE! I LOVE YOU!"

No! No! This was all wrong! Who were these girls! He couldn't be with them! Never! His love was to Padme! But they were pulling on him, squealing, and trying to kiss him! NO! What would Padme ever think!

"Get off me! Get off me! My love cannot be to you! My love is to Padme!" he screamed.

"NO NO! FORGET PADME! I'M WAY COOLER! MARRY ME ANAKIN! MARRY ME! I LOVE YOU!"

No! NO! He tried desperately to push the girls off, but there were too many! They were clawing at him! Pulling on his robes, his hair, his face! They were stealing his love! They were trying to get him away from Padme! How could he get them off?

There was only one way…

He used the Force to blast them all back.

Many of the girls screamed – not in fear, but in awe.

"OH MY GOD! HE USED THE FORCE ON ME! ANAKIN USED THE FORCE ON ME! ANAKIN'S FORCE TOUCHED ME! I'M NEVER SHOWERING AGAIN!"

"WAIT 'TIL I TELL MY FRIENDS!"

The girls were running him over again – with renewed enthusiasm.

"No! NO! NO! I'M HANDSOME – BUT BUT DON'T KILL ME FOR IT!" Anakin screamed as he drowned beneath their stampeding feet and hands.

Meanwhile, Harry was dealing with twenty. It was considerably less than fifty of Anakin's, but still a lot to handle.

"HARRY! I'VE GOT CAULDRON CAKES!" a voice screamed. "I BAKED THEM JUST FOR YOU! TRY IT!"

Harry backed away. After the Romilda Vane and Ron incident, he wasn't ready to accept Cauldron Cakes from girls – especially fangirls.

"It's… it's okay!" he stuttered nervously.

The screams were all pretty much a repeat of Anakin's fangirls. Except for other girls tried to offer him drinks and food.

"HARRY! MY CAULDRON CAKES ARE SOO MUCH BETTER!"

"SHUT UP! I OFFERED FIRST! TAKE MINE HARRY! TAKE IT!"

"HARRY! DON'T LISTEN TO THEM AFTER ROMILDA VANE! TAKE A DRINK! PUMPKIN JUICE!"

"IT WAS MY IDEA!"

"I HAD THE DRINKS FIRST! YOU STOLE MY IDEA!"

"I OFFERED FIRST DAMNIT!"

"I'M NOT ARGUING HARRY! SEE! I'M NICE. I HAVE THE BEST CAULDRON CAKES, SEE! FLUFFY, CHOCOLATY, AND SOFT! HAVE ONE! HAVE ONE!"

Harry was quite dismayed by their offerings. He suspsected there was all love potion in them. How was he supposed to fend them off? How could he ever get away? It was impossible! Romilda Vane had been one girl, now there was twenty! Plus he wasn't supposed to hurt them.

One way…

RUN!

"And well look at that! Harry Potter seems to be running from all the fangirls!" the announcer cried, as Harry ran full speed around the stadium.

"Oh no! He just got tackled by the girls! Oh dear!"

Frodo meanwhile only had to deal with about six.

"I'm not popular," he muttered sadly.

The fangirls weren't nearly as obsessive as the Anakin or Harry ones. They simply sat, and stared at him with dreamy looks in their eyes.

"Hobbits are really cute," one said.

"Uh… yeah…"

Frodo was a bit scared. This human was really tall. And he was a short little hobbit. If even these five attacked him, he would be helpless. So he sat and talked with them. Actually, they were quite nice.

Meanwhile, Anakin was still trying to breathe…

"Geroff! Wait! I have an idea! I shall give you – "

"GET OFF HIM! YOU'RE KILLING HIM!"

"OH ME, KILLING HIM WHAT ABOUT YOU?"

"SHUT UP HE'S TRYING TO SPEAK!"

The girls shushed.

"Okay, I shall give you all you want – if you will form an orderly line and do not claw on me," he said.

It worked. The girls formed an orderly line… er… maybe cut out orderly.

"YOU CUT ME GODDAMNIT!"

"NO I DIDN'T! STOP SHOVING ME!"

Finally, order was mantained. The first girl wanted –

"A LOCK OF HAIR!"

Anakin sighed and pulled out one of his curls.

"YOUR PADAWAN BRAID!"

"I can't! That's against the Jedi code!"

"Damn the frickin' Jedi code, I want your BRAID!"

"No!"

"NO YOU BITCH! I WANT HIS BRAID!"

"You can't have my braid!"

"I WANT IT!"

"NO I WANT IT!"

Anakin had no choice, but to hand over his braid.

"I want your robe!"

"I want your spit!"

"I want your speeder!"

"I want your podracer!"

"I want your arm!"

"I want your _metal _arm!"

"I want your lightsabre!"

Anakin gasped. The lightsabre was too far behind the line. No – these fangirls were giving anything!

"NO! NOBODY IS TAKING ANYTHING FROM ME ANYMORE!"

"DOGPILE ON ANAKIN!"

Okay, this was too far. Anakin drew his lightsabre as the girls squealed in awe.

"OMG! I WANT THAT LIGHTSABER!"

"I DON'T _WANT_ LIGHTSABRE – I _NEED_ IT!"

"BITCH I ASKED FOR IT FIRST!"

Anakin screamed, as he drowned in the girls for the last time.

And Harry was still running was still running in circles…

Ash was sulking and crying.

"WHY AM I SO UNLOVED? WHY DOES THE WORLD IS HATE ME? I SAVED THEM FROM ZAPADOS, ARTICUNO, AND MOLTRES! IS THAT NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU!"

"All right, fangirls get off. Get _off_! GET OFF THOSE POOR MEN!" the announcer screamed.

But the fangirls did not get off.

"_IMPEDIMENTA!"_

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

"Yes, yes, that's better, thank you Mr. Potter. Now, we shall be voting. Remember, judging is based on how well you handled the fangirls."

They waited.

"Now the votes are in! We have first place… oh my gawd. Well folks, first place is Ash Ketchum, as he did not get _any_, therefore, he didn't have to handle it at all. Second place is Frodo Baggins, with five fangirls, who he simply talked to. Third is Harry Potter, who ran in circles. And then, Anakin Skywalker, who practically died under those girls.

Our next contest shall involve battle of the Chosen Ones's mentors!"

"_Mentors?_" the four said in unison.

_Our heroes have had to deal with their share of obnoxious, obsessive fangirls! Ash has survived with none, Frodo has handled it very well, and Anakin just nearly died! Next is a mentor battle! Which mentor will prove that he is the best? Will it be Obi-Wan? Or will it be Dumbledore? Perhaps Gandalf? Maybe even Professor Oak? Stay tuned to find out!_

_To be continued…_

Shoutouts:

Scoutcraft Piratess: You are my favorite fanfiction author, and I am really pleased that you review my stories and laugh! Oh yes, I'm also happy that a stranger loved it! Whee! Thanks for all the reviews!

Brilover: Yes, it was supposed to be Harry. I do make some mistakes. As for the Unforgivable Curse, I thought it would be funny of the Ministry of Magic died. So I stuck that in. I love making people laugh though!

Amber Penglass: Unfortunately for myself, I have never really watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer, if that is what you are talking about. Therefore, I could not put much about it in here. Sorry!

Gamer619: Yes yes, I'm sure we all have favorites to win. We'll just have to see about that won't we:)

CoolJude: Well we can't have Anakin winning all the contests now, can we? xD I'm really happy that people find this funny, I was afraid it would seem more idiotic than funny, so yeah.

Donatella: Uh… yeah.

AcidicParanoia: I dunno, maybe I just want to make Ash feel miserable so I killed Squirtle and Charizard. xD It was on a whim. It must seem weird to laugh at the computer for 10 minutes though. And here is your fangurl attack!

Blackness Angel: Yay! The bestest! xD That's a word that usually most people chide me for using.


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